#the song is also heartbreaking

[daidonzo]

Chapter 8 - I don't want to not be by your side [Chishiya x Reader]

You woke to Chishiya still in the room with you, sitting on a chair next to your bed.

"You were not waking up. I almost thought you were dead if it wasn't for how much you were snoring."

He even had the nerve to remain serious after saying that, leaving you to ponder whether he was actually joking or not. If your pounding headache would let you lift your head more than a couple of centimeters, you would had strangled him, although now that you thought about it, it would take a lot more than that and your body, so far, remained non-responsive.

"Close the courtains." You struggled to say, still trying to fully wake up. The light was hurting your eyes.

He tilted his head to one side, eyebrows raised, but complied. You whispered a soft "thank you", while standing up until you were seated, and he nodded in return.

What was he still doing here? You remembered, partially, that he had taken you to your room. But had he been watching you sleep the whole night? Creepy. And were you really snoring? You really hoped it was just his dry sense of humor.

"You didn't sleep?" Maybe he had slept on a chair, like that night when it was just the two of you in that family apartment, but you didn't really understand why he would go through the pain of being uncomfortable for you.

"I did." He pointed behind you. You turned around and saw that your pillows had been placed as a sort of… Wall? Barrier? Behind you, dividing the bed in two.

So.

You had slept in the same bed as Chishiya.

The news would have been the most exciting thing to ever happen to you if you were not mad at him still. Despite that, it felt like there was something that you could only describe as the fluttering of wings of thousands of tiny insects (you called them wasps, butterflies would be much more delicate) in your stomach.

"Why have you stayed?"

"You insisted you absolutely refused to sleep on your side. I feared that, when I would leave the room, you would die by choking on your own vomit just to spite me."

"As if you cared.", you wanted to say. Only he did care, but because his plan wouldn't work otherwise. That was the only reason, or so you wanted to think. Believing anything else had proven to be too painful.

"You looked beautiful yesterday"

"What?"

Your reaction was so natural, so organic. Did he just call you beautiful? The wasps returned. But this time someone had kicked their nest and they were buzzing, angry like never before. You were gaping like a fish, unsure of what to say.

"I said you looked beautiful yesterday."

"I heard you."

"Then?"

What did he mean THEN?

"What does that mean?"

"You looked subjectively beautiful."

You still couldn't believe it. Your cheeks, ears and entire face were burning. You didn't know what to say. He clearly didn't think too much about it. You scrutinized his face, trying to discover what was going on behind those beautiful, dreamy eyes. Damn it. You had fallen for him again. Hard. Had you ever stopped, though? You found yourself smiling like a little kid, from ear to ear and had to remind yourself you were supposed to be mad.

"Thank you?" You meant to just say it, which as much dignity as you could gather, but it came out more like a question. Maybe you were alucinating. Maybe you were still drunk! Someone had spiked your drink! That must be it.

Your heart twisted, and turned. And felt like it was beaten to a bloody pulp.

You couldn't help but keep smiling, even though you tried really, really hard not to. Because what he said was sweet. Because you liked him, no matter how much you tried to deny it. Because he was the closest thing to home for you. Because something deep inside you was telling you to run, and instead, you were tying yourself harder. You knew this was a game that was lost before it even started, but you were still coming back to play. That last thought made you sad. You knew something had to be done about your feelings, because you were clearly watering a dead flower, and it was taking its toll on you.

"Be careful, or I might think you are starting to care about me." You whispered.

"I try not to care about anyone."

There he was again.

"You care a bit. Otherwise you wouldn't have spent the night here."

"I told you, I didn't want you to die asphyxiated."

"All I can hear is how much you care."

He had a half-smile on his face. You were not smiling anymore.

"Not really."

"Would it kill you to just admit it?"

He gave the impression of being taken aback by the intensity of your words, probably expecting you to keep the banter going. But if he was surprised, that didn't last for more than a few seconds.

"Admit what?"

"Nothing."

You looked at each other. You had a knot in your throat that would be there no matter how much you tried getting rid of it. You only had held hands twice, why were you already feeling like this? You probably were an awful person in another life, because this seemed like a cruel joke the world, God, or whichever ominous entity was playing on you.

"I'm sorry. I think I have relied on you a bit too much ever since I met you."

"I agree."

You took the hit without, hopefully, revealing too much of what you were feeling. This felt too much like a breakup and you were not even an item.

You nodded.

He nodded.

The silence was just too painful. Everything about your entire infatuation was.

"I think you should go."

[mathias-wanabe]

Been getting into the danny phantom fandom and….

Listen I love ghost king danny stuff but

This shit is making my cry I hate whoever made this playlist

with.

a.

PASSION

You’re great at making playlists but holy fuck it’s like watching the saddest animations ever in my head. mentally fucked me up bc a playlist should NOT be able to do this

[druidberries]

i'd like to mean it when I say I'm over you but that's still not true and I'm still so blue ♫

taking pictures of her made me feel so bad 😭😭

[fastianini]

Valentino Rossi & Marc Márquez

[ happy (belated) 9 year anniversary to sepang 2015 aka the one weekend everything went wrong, everything changed and that still haunts motogp to this day <3 ]

history of man by maisie peters

[tangents-within-tangents]

Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones

Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones

Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.

The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire

And Echo as a soldier of the Republic

But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him

Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose

Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers

And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose

"A ship in port is a safer one"

"but it's not the reason it was made"

"So forgive me if I wander off"

"And forgive me more if I just stay"

Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies

(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)

[soulsforsales]

I just think more people should know this<3 It's makes a lot of sense and although Patrochilles sounds much better Achicleos is painfully beautiful 🤌

[cryscendo]

klaine + heartbreak feels so good by fall out boy

@giftober 2024 | day 1: broken

[rotisseries]

really slay of jinx and ekko to ALWAYS have the best episodes. they get minimal screentime together but they eat every time

[neverbesokind]

Oh my god it's The Alchemy day I have SO many thoughts about this song so I'm gonna try and condense them.

First of all, the song starts and ends with "This happens once every few lifetimes," which is a statement filled to the BRIM with irony, in my view. The entire album up to this point has been concerned with two romances, both of which Taylor states she felt were destined and fated and "storybook" in their own ways. The entirety of TTPD is exploring how these fated, destined, storybook romances could actually crumble, and with it, her faith and belief in the existence of fate and destiny and storybook love.

But THEN... almost at the end of the standard run of the album, Taylor states that she's getting back from recovering from this tragedy - "I'm back / The hospital was a drag / Worst sleep that I ever had". She gets back from the messy process of healing from the events described on the album, and despite everything finds herself falling in love again.

This is why the title is significant, too. Alchemy is the pseudoscience of making a material into something more valuable. And this reflects the emotional process of Taylor falling in love again - she felt like the past two tragedies took the shine off of everything, killed her belief that love could ever work. But then, despite everything, she falls in love again and the normal, even tragic world she lived in before is transformed into something golden.

And then the first line repeats again, to reflect the cyclical nature of what she has experienced. Obviously, "this" doesn't happen once every few lifetimes, it's happened twice before on the album and is happening again in this song. She's falling in love, she's finding something beautiful and fated, and she can't help but find it gorgeous and meaningful, even if she's been shown again and again that she might be proven wrong in the end. And it feels so special that even if it's obvious that it isn't a once-in-a-lifetime experience, it feels that rare and that precious.

In this song, love is the alchemy, the process of turning normalcy into meaning and beauty, and she can't help it.

[mybonfire]

i carry you in my heart forever.

user naumin/radiator hospital/user stolenchapstick/user jb-blunk/mitski

[pinkgrapefloyd]

daniel larusso & terry silver / the smallest man who ever lived

[meiieiri]

there's a song that reminds me so much of harmony in the twilight hour... big star by lorde 🥹 i've always loved it but i love it even more now that i've read your story. ilysm !!

help this song was so good, im literally sitting in the laboratory i’m working at with literal tears in my eyes 😭 thank you for this nonnie ! 🥹 and i especially love the lines bc it’s so perfect for tojiyn’s tragic tale (and the fact that mc died in winter! 😭😭😭):

“but every perfect summer’s gotta take its flight, i’ll still watch you run through the winter light.”

—

i could just imagine toji going back to that port they used to go to in yokohama, a year after the mc’s death. he does everything he wanted to do with the mc when he still believed she’d get better: he’ll stroll down that boardwalk, he’ll buy two ice cream sandwiches (one for him, and one for you), he’ll ride the ferris wheel because the harbor recently opened a small amusement park, and he’ll watch the open sea wondering if you were right there next to him in spirit as the car reaches the top.

of course, he’ll take lots of pictures. that’s what you would have wanted, after all.

and by day’s end, toji will retrieve your ashes from the car and he’ll sit on the edge of the harbor’s boardwalk, your urn next to him as he tells you what he’s been up to this past year — how he went to your second honeymoon alone, the one you never got to go to, because you would have wanted that for him, how he kept everything in your home the way it is, how he took in that stray cat he always used to catch you feeding even when you were wheelchair-ridden as you neared the end of your life — he tells you everything, picturing your head thrown back in joyful laughter when he forces himself to crack jokes every now and then.

as the last sliver of daylight appears on the horizon, he knows it’s time, so he picks up your urn, sliding the lid open. he takes a deep breath then he ultimately casts your ashes into the sea as per your final wishes. he tearfully watches the wind pick up what remains of the love of his life, the same breeze gently settling you down onto your bed of sapphire waves.

he never remarries.

[kumakuma-circus]

not me listening to SNOWFLAKES on loop cuz it's low-key my favorite p4 song and realizing the lyrics like perfectly encompass yu's feelings about inaba and his friends and having to leave.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. UGHHHHHH. THE PAIN OF HAVING MEDIA COMPREHENSION SKILLS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[madootles]

a baby

[elles-home]

modern au zosan thoughts to nina nesbitt’s the best you had

i don’t know if i’m gonna flip the pronouns but maybe sanji is bisexual? so it’s post break up and sanji is with a new girl. it’s only three weeks but why does sanji look so happy. why does he look so happy, so, so soon. they were together for six years. six years, and three weeks was all it took for sanji to be posting about his new girlfriend, happy and wonderful, and soft and gorgeous in ways zoro isn’t.

is that why he broke up with him? because zoro can’t be soft in the way he needs softness, because zoro can’t love the way sanji needs to be loved? because god knows sanji was loved, zoro aches for him with his mind and soul now, his body unable to maintain the rigid form instilled into him over years of training as a swordsman, the values of maintaining his inner strength wavering, and he cannot breathe.

(he pulled himself up. but he couldn’t breathe)

sanji needs words, and zoro was a man of action. there was never a thing sanji needed or wanted that was not done. and sanji, despite having the same love language when it comes to being a giver, really, really needed words when it was his time to receive. and zoro tried. he did, but sometimes trying isn’t enough, he supposes. if it were, sanji would still be with him.

zoro tries not to keep up with sanji’s social media, he’s doing a good job at no contact (a man with few words ought to be, right? it’s not, zoro aches. he looks at every corner hoping it’s sanji coming to pick him up because he got lost again, he looks at every aisle in the grocery store they frequented, he aches in ways when his friends obviously split their time between sanji and zoro). and he wants to move on, but sanji’s social media is the only way he can keep tabs on him. he just wants to know if he’s okay! and if a stab to the heart whenever he sees her pretty brown locks that fall down her shoulders, well that is the price he must pay for playing games he should no longer be allowed to play.

when he’s staring at the ceiling during lonely nights, angry and malicious and so, so hateful, he thinks viciously that at least she won’t be able to hold him down like zoro is able to. sanji liked it so much when zoro held his precious arms captive above his head, when his lips would trail from his ears to his throat and back to his ears and instruct to keep his hands right there for me baby, don’t move, and sanji would huff and puff but his hands would never move. not even as zoro glides lower and lower, leaving a trail of bruises, purple pink in the pale skin that reddens so easily, even as zoro gets a little mean with his teeth around his nipples, even when zoro holds to that tiny waist, his large hands leaving circle marks when they tighten around his waist. his waist was so small, is still, and zoro thinks vindictively, she won’t give it to him. she won’t worship his body like zoro did.

he wonders, if sanji thinks of zoro when he fucks his new girl. he hopes sanji realises she won’t be able to give what he could’ve, what he would’ve, what he had been giving.

as long as he’s the best he’s ever had, zoro is okay, he thinks. or he will be, but he knows. he knows deep in his heart, that he’s the best he’s ever had. so he will be okay.

when? he doesn’t know. in the meantime he will keep filling the void with bodies, (he wondered if this was what it was for sanji too (he soon realised it wasn’t))

the best sanji’s ever had. zoro’s sure that’s him. he’ll be okay.

(maybe if he repeats it enough, it will be true)

[skatiet]